Tidbits - July 13 2017

TIDBITS by RALPH SHEALY



RAINS, IT POURS

  It started when our ancient dot matrix printer began to malfunction.
  That’s right dot matrix, a term young people will use the “SMH” text expression when hearing.
  We use the printer to print our mailing list. It has been a nightmare the last few weeks.
  A dot matrix printer is not something you find a Staples or Office Depot anymore.
  I finally found a used one on Amazon and it arrived Saturday and works, so far.
  Next our Riso printer died. This is the machine we use to print all our jobwork.
  Fortunately, we have not had a lot of jobwork to do lately, but we do print the church bulletins for Saluda Presbyterian and Emory.
  We can print those on our copier and printers.
  I set up the bulletins, filed them on a thumb drive and took it upstairs for Jackie to print out on her printer.
  Her wireless printer stopped working. It’s been a pain since we got it, and I’ll never get another one.
  So, that option was out.
  I printed one bulletin on the copier, and the toner ran out.
  So... I printed the other bulletin on my printer, and the toner ran out of that, too.
  I quickly got on Amazon and ordered replacement cartrtidges. I always order the cheap knock-offs.
  Normally, Amazon deliveries are in a day or two, but my printer cartridges took a week to arrive, which meant we could not print out anything.
  The fax machine was the only machine we had in working condition, and I did not try to hook it to my computrer to use as a printer, which is possible, for fear it would run out of toner, too.
  I did break down and call one of the office places to see if they stocked the $80 cartridge that would fit my printer. I was told they no longer stocked it and would have to order it ..... probably from Amazon.
  I found a refurbished printer on Amazon for Jackie that uses the same type cartridge my printer uses, and I ordered another knock-off cartridge for that.
  We should have all but the Riso up and running this week.
  Jackie’s car suffered a major death a couple of weeks ago, so she is driving my truck untilhers can be repaired or replaced.
  On June 29, I was two miles from home when the overheating idiot light came on my van.
  I took it Saluda Motor Sales the next day and was told I needed a new radiator, because there was a two-inch gash in the bottom of mine.
  What else can happen?
  Then the thought hit me that I drove that van to the beach the previous weekend, then to Columbia on Tuesday to get the papers printed. What if the radiator had gone out at the beach or going or coming, or anywhere around Columbia?
  I was not lucky that I had to buy a new radiator, but the fact the radiator blew two miles from home is pretty lucky.
  Last week, we never got our BiLo inserts to put in the paper, and believe me, our subscribers want their Bilo, CVS, Family Dollar, Fred’s, IGA, etc,. inserts.
  We called all around, and couldn’t find them.
  Monday afternoon they arrived, which doesn’t do anyone any good since the sale ends Tuesday, but on the same truck were this week’s inserts. Whew!
  Maybe our luck is changing ....

POOR LITTLE JAYDEN

  Between Sunday afternoon and Monday morning, I got 12 Facebook messages warning me not to accept any friend requests from Jayden Smith, because he is a hacker.
  I wonder if my Facebook friends who sent the message even know they sent it. Perhaps, they have been hacked .. by Jayden! Of course, this is another of those many Facebook hoaxes that go around.
  I don’t know if the Jayden in question is Will and Jada’s son, but it would add to his misery if he is.
  I fall victim to some of those Facebook posts that list things.
  The other day I clicked on one titled, “The 25 Worst Actors in Hollywood History.”
  No. 25 was Ben Afflect and No. 24 was Kevin Costner.
  Coming in a No. 23 was Jayden Smith.
  The kid just turned 19, and he’s already one of the 25 worst actors in Hollywood history! Now, that’s bad.
  I quit after Jayden popped up. When you think of the thousands of actors since the silent film days, there are bound to be a few worse than a teenager who’s only made a few movies.

ERIE CANAL

  CBS Sunday Morning had a story on the Erie Canal, and featured a song we learned in the third grade.
  ‘I got a mule, her name is Sal, 15 miles on the Erie Canal.
  She’s a good old worker and a good old pal, 15 miles on the Eric Canal.
  We’ve hauled some barges in our day,
  Filled with lumber, coal and hay.
  And we know every inch of the way
  From Buffalo to Albany.”
  I was in Mrs. Dorothy Grigsby’s class when I learned that song and 50 plus years later, I still know the words the first verse, as displayed above.
  We learned a good many songs that year I remember.
  We also learned the Virginia Reel and had to perform in front of the PTA in the Annex Auditorium. How embarrassing it was to dosey-doe in front of that crowd of parents.
  I think I still remember how to dosey-doe, not that I would show you in public.

WHAT YOU PAY FOR

  It kills me to pay for razor blades.
  I’m always looking for a bargain.
  On the Wish app, I ordered eight blades for $8.00! In the store, eight blades can cost up to $50. Ridiculous!
  When my Wish package arrived I couldn’t wait to shave.
  The blades looked just like the Gillette version I use. I inserted the new blade on the handle and was prepared to be pleased with my bargain.
  Have you had something removed from your face by a dermatologist?
  Well, get some of these blades and save the doctor bill. It not only removes your beard, but the layer of skin under it!
  I tried to get through half face before bailing on this “bargain.”
  Fortunately, I had another razor nearby. I dumped that blade in the trash, but I still had seven more to go.
  I hate wasting anything. I had been about a month since I tried the Wish blades, so Monday morning I decided to try another blade. Maybe, the first one I used was just a dud.
  Nope. I exfoliated my face again, but it wasn’t as a bad as the first one. I’ll try again.
  Jamie and family gave me one of those “Bret Favre” shaving systems for Christmas the other year, and it’s really good. I’m still using those blades. That’s what bailed me uot from the ‘scraper.”
  “You get what you pay for adage” usually holds true.
  A few months ago, on one of those Amazon “Deals of the Day,” I bought six pair of underwear for $6.00. That’s right, $1 a pair.
  After the underwear arrived, I was so impressed I ordered six more pairs.
  These arrived quickly, so I wore the new underwear for 12 straight days, and on the 13th day I wore a newly washed pair.
  I found out why they only cost $1.00, because you can only wear them once. The elastic from the waist rolled down to meet the elastic from the legs that rolled up.. You can’t even use them to shine shoes.
  Oh, well. Live and learn....

ANOTHER SMALL WORLD

  My nephew Trey Shealy is with the Saluda Baptist World Changers group in Chattanooga, Tennesee, this week.
  Monday, a Chattanooga TV stations did a story on the group, who goes into poor communites and does home improvement.
  Trey was interviewed
  Get this! The camerman taught freshman English at Saluda High when Trey was a junior!