Tidbits - February 27, 2020

TIDBITS by RALPH SHEALY



ME, ALSO

  I count myself among the fallen.
  After we got the paper out last Tuesday, I began to get that “you’re about to get sick” feeling.
  I was planning to go to the SHS Lady Tiger playoff game that night, but didn’t make it.
  Wednesday morning, I was able to take the papers around to the stores and to the Post Office. During the course of this, I got a text from Jackie that said, “I’ve got the flu.”
  I texted back, “I don’t feel so hot myself.”
  I closed the office, drove home, and climbed into bed at 11 a.m. I stayed there until 6 the next morning.
  I had to print our church bulletin, so I drove to the office to load the bulletin file on a thumb drive and came back home.
  I set the bulletin up and went back to bed.
  When I got to church Sunday, I found out I forget to change the number on two of the three hymns, so I batted .333, which isn’t bad for baseball.
  I’m surprised those were the only mistakes I made.
  Friday, I felt better in the morning and was able to work. As the day progressed, I digressed.
  I was finally able to eat something Friday night.
  Saturday and Sunday, I felt “tolerable,” as the old folks used to say.
  I had the flu shot, so I guess I had the “assistant flu.”
  Oh, when I got to church, I found out three members had the same ailment last week.
  I don’t think there are many households who haven’t been hit.

FROM WHERE?

  As I was writing this column Sunday afternoon, I flipped through the channels and stopped at ”Gilligan’s Island” on MeTV.
  It took that to remind me Gilligan, Skipper and The Professor never changed outfits during the course of the series. Ginger, Mary Ann, and Mr. and Mrs. Howell changed clothes two or three times an episode. Where did they get those clothes? Surely, they didn’t pack them for a three hour cruise.
  Mrs. Howell even has a fur coat. Who takes a fur coat on a trip to the tropics?
 That brings back that old ditty, “The professor could make an atomic bomb out of a transistor radio, but he couldn’t fix a hole in a ship!”

  MAKE SENSE, RIGHT?

  I’m all for saving the environment, but some decisions don’t make much sense, do they?
  Did you see this meme:
  “So, let me get this straight. I go to the grocery store and buy a pound of ham wrapped in plastic, a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic jug, a pack of napkins wrapped in plastic, a Greek salad in a plastic container, a plastic bottle of mustard, and a plastic bottle of ketchup and they won’t give me a plastic bag to carry it home,  because the plastic bag is bad for the environment?”
  One step at a  time, I guess.?
  I’m sure many of you have read this on social media, but it bears repeating:
  “A cashier at a grocery store counter was checking out an elderly lady’s groceries, she decided that the elderly woman required a lesson in environmental conservation.
  Then, in a rude manner, she started telling the woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because all the plastic would destroy the environment.
  The woman replied to the girl in a mild manner and said, “I’m sorry. We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.’
  The young cashier was proud of herself thinking that she had taught the woman an important lesson. However, the woman was not yet.
  She continued: ‘Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.’
  The cashier recoiled, but the old lady carried on talking.
  ‘Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But you’re right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.’
  At this point, another cashier had opened a queue in another lane. The old woman wasn’t done yet, though.
  She pushed on: ‘Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.’
  ‘Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the “green thing”.’
  Then the old lady finally reached her crescendo:
  ‘Isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?’
  Naturally, the cashier was lost for words. The older lady packed her own goods and left the store. I’m sure the young clerk will think twice before she goes on the front foot with the older generation regarding environmental awareness. Younger people often think they know best, and, while sometimes that may be the case, it’s always important to listen to the older people in society who have seen and done things their younger counterparts haven’t.”


WILL IT END?

  Will the Tom Steyer commercials continue in South Carolina after the primary Saturday?
  I feel like Tom is a member of my family. Actually, I see him more than most members of my family.
  It’s amazing how this year’s Democratic Primary parallels the 2016 Republican Primary.
  The candidate you thought had no chance of winning is winning.
  Trump and Bernie! Are you counting down the days  for their debates?!